Just the mere pairing of those two words and we tend to automatically jump towards thinking or romantic love. Of course, romantic love is included in this sentiment, however TRUE love covers a more colossal gamut. My attention and focus coming out of this most recent Venus Retrograde period (7/25/15 0 9/6/15) has been to search deeply into myself to become aware of the definition I attached to love, of all sorts.
Of course! I’ll give you the “cliffnotes” version and say that it definitely all comes back to a love we have for ourselves. But, I’d like to take you a bit further into my journey which has allowed me to gain a much more long-lasting sense of contentment and a much more positive relationship with love in all its various forms and perspectives.
I am within the belief that we all have a divine love within ourselves that cannot be taken away, no heartbreak, drink, drug, experience, loss or fear, can EVER, take our divinity away from us. What can happen though, is that we can feel so lost, detached and hurt about what we’ve perceived as unfair, painful and traumatic happenings that we completely forget and lose sight of that bright shiny love that we all share at a very deep intrinsic level. A lot of times, we experience pain around “love” in a relationship with someone else of whom we’ve had expectations of and therefore associate pain and love as one in the same or even worse, the inevitable outcome.
This could be abandonment by a parent, infidelity of a spouse, “back-stabbing” by a friend, feeling under-appreciated by a family member or several other MILLION scenarios that basically stem from the same place, perceived abandonment regarding a particular expectation we had on someone other than ourselves. There’s that little word again… expectation. Oh expectation, how do you annoy me? Let me count the ways… Nah, I don’t have time to focus on that, but, it’s a lot!!!
I have found that truly getting in touch with myself and the wounds I have perceived surrounding love of all types and working to heal and release, has allowed me to broaden my view on what love really means. It’s boundless. It’s without expectation. It’s unconditional. It’s expansive. It’s marvelous. It’s everywhere.
I have a post it note on my desk that says “My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations” . This translates into allowing other people we are in relationships with the space to be authentically true to themselves. WHATEVER that means. It’s a difficult charge for most of us to love someone fully and robustly without expecting certain things in return. It requires honesty. It requires that we let old ideas go about what someone needs to prove to us. It requires that we let our egos go. It requires that we become strong in our vulnerability. It requires that we first heal ourselves. It requires that we first love ourselves.
True Love and the way it shows up in our relationship with others has a direct correlation on how we love ourselves. Are we good enough to us? Do we seek perfection knowing it’s impossible? Do we accept ourselves and all our flaws? Do we give to others before we give to ourselves in an unhealthy way? Do we give to ourselves before others selfishly? Let’s take an honest inventory of our own hearts and how we TRULY love or need to learn to love ourselves so that we can offer ourselves true love and in turn everyone to whom we come into contact. Let’s find balance, truth, honor, respect and introspect. Once we find those things and the divine nature in ourselves, it’s SO much easier to find it in others.
With So Much Love,