Tag: drama

Hot Yoga and My Life

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Sooooo, hot yoga became a pretty consistent staple for me in my health routines about 5-6 years ago. Keeping in mind I use the word “consistent” very loosely. I practiced vigorously and then fell off and my cycles seem to wax and wane depending on my current life situations. I happened to have two beautiful little babies within the past 3 years so there are at least 20 months in there where hot yoga was a no-no due to my “with child” condition.

I find that any yoga, but especially hot yoga, is a microcosm of our entire lives, right there, in 90 minutes on the mat, dripping with sweat, “monkey mind” attempting to make us quit the whole time and telling us that there is no way in hell we’ll ever get through this. But you know what? I’ve always come out alive… every. single. time. Not only have I come out alive, but I’ve come out more aware of the power my mind has to control responses to uncomfortable sensations. Even more important than that, I’ve become aware of my breath.

We take breathing for granted in our day-to-day goings on’s… we breathe fast when we are anxious or exited, we hold our breath when we’re on edge, we even slow our breathing down when we are crying and attempt regain our composure. When you’re standing in a room that ranges between 95-105 degrees and being instructed to get into poses that stretch, compress and strengthen every single organ…well, let’s just say that it can be intense. I find that the actual physical movement isn’t as intense as the barrage of thoughts that come rushing to my mind. Anyone who knows me knows how deep I study and gain insight from astrology. I definitely believe that my moon in Gemini kicks into over drive and begins to berate me. She tells me things like “OMG, you are going to DIEEEE, do you hear me? Death is near!!!” and “Noooo, I cant believe this broad is asking me to do this! Is she freaking retarded, no way, no way in HELL am I going to be able to hold this pose for one more SECOND!!!”

Gaining an awareness on how I respond to a perceived “stressful” situation on my mat in hot yoga has allowed me to more honestly observe and become aware of how I respond to perceived stress in day to day life. Just like I’ve learned to talk myself down and calm my breath on the mat, I’ve applied this to my life. I bring my breath into awareness and it seems to help aid in whatever “crisis” I may find myself facing at that particular time.

I am so grateful and honored to live near an amazing studio in Raleigh, NC called Open Door Raleigh run by Monica Shannon. She is charismatic, informative, hilarious, compassionate and just a damn good hot yoga instructor! She is very authentic, which lightens the mood and makes jokes about whether we’d prefer the air to come out of our butts or to breathe it out through the moving meditation of yoga. (By the way, the answer is definitely our butt!! Easier and less time and focus)

This is one of the methods I use to ensure that I am balanced and detoxed. Although in this post I am solely focusing on the personal, emotion and mental side of hot yoga, there are physiological and physical benefits that are out of this world!!! My skin, blood pressure, strength and flexibility literally improve after just one session and when I’m truly as consistent as I’d like to be (3 times per week) man! I feel like i can take over the world! I have more energy, am in better moods and really have more overall focus and clarity in my mind. My intention is to integrate and prioritze this amazing self-loving act.

Hot Yoga Rocks!!

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

You Come First

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Life is busy. We have several responsibilities, obligations and tasks that need to be completed on a daily basis to ensure that our lives run smoothly. My day is action packed from morning until night. With two babies that are 2 and 1, I am going (seemingly non-stop) from the time I wake up (or am woken up) until the time I start winding down for the evening to rest. Most everyone, whether you have children or not, has other people depending on them. Whether it’s your family, friends, or colleagues, we all affect the lives of other people immensely based on how we show up in our own lives. There is a direct correlation to the quality and dependability which we can offer others and the time we take to nurture and care for ourselves.

Like the old cliché adage says “You can’t give to someone else what you don’t have to give”. I love metaphors and I would take this a step further to illustrate with these examples: How can a poor person advise you on how to get rich? How can an unorganized person help you organize? How can an unfit person help you get fit? Seeing a trend here? Those make perfect sense and I doubt could be argued, however we tend to not apply the same principle to the unseen intangible things. These range from peace, love, honor, satisfaction, reliability, commitment, consistency, contentment and so much more. These are internal factors that we need to maintain and work to achieve so that we can offer them to the folks who need us the most.

We tend to have the perception that we must put everyone else’s needs and priorities above our own, which is true when we are dealing with babies or children who are not self-sufficient. However, even then, we must take the time to make sure we are healthy, both inside and out to ensure we can offer presence that has quality, not just quantity. If I’m with my babies, but I’m on my phone not interacting with them, or engaged in other things besides them, what am I really offering them? If I’m tired and cranky and emotionally unbalanced, what does my interaction look like with my family, friends or colleagues? Am I showing up at 100% or am I just there filling space? Let’s progress to not just show up, but to show up with authentic, genuine, quality of presence that offers those that are exposed to us the best possible result.

I have implemented several ways in which I take time out of my schedule to honor and love myself so that I can stay at my best capacity in an effort to show up for the people who depend on and matter most to me. Exercising, meditating, eating healthy, making financial decisions that prioritize what’s really important in my life and getting adequate time to relax are among my top tools. Let’s all find what helps us be the best version of ourselves so that we can positively impact all whom we come into contact with.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

STFU

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stfu

Or “Saint Foo” as I affectionately refer to this euphemism. It’s necessary, healthy and absolutely downright critical if we are to maintain our inner peace and joy. I can’t count how many conversations I overhear in passing during my daily routines that are centered around someone else. What they did, said, are going to do etc. Perhaps as we think over our conversation’s with our lovers, best friends, co-workers, family or even our children we may find that a big portion of our topics revolve around other people.

We’re discussing their relationships, their parenting skills, their choices, their life..just THEM in general. I have found that this creates unnecessary drama and distraction away from the very things that should be our MAIN priority. Ourselves and our life. Period! A lot of times we talk to entertain ourselves and others with the content. Talking is a sacred tool that should be honored and respected (after all, everyone is not blessed with this gift). It should be used as a true form of communication and by communication I mean effective expression of solving issues and/or filtering love through the universe.

I am a proponent of the theory that love and fear are the only two real base emotions. When we find or feel the need to negatively speak about others and sometimes even our own selves, I believe it’s rooted in an insecurity/fear. I believe we can always be striving to improve our own personal situations and keeping that in mind, how do we really have any time to do anything else? While you’re discussing someone else’s business, you could be improving your own. I have observed that people who tend to constantly focus on other people’s shortcomings are typically extremely unhappy and unfulfilled in their own lives.

We all need a vent session every once in a while, however “how you do something.. is how you do everything” – (T Harv Ekar). If it’s once in a while, it’s a fluke, if it’s constant, it’s who you are. Don’t be that person. Don’t be hypocritical and salty. It’s really not a good look. Keeping in mind that we are all sponges , let’s wring that nasty stuff out and start fresh.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

Therapeutic Check Mate

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I would like to clarify that although my blog is intended to be peaceful, loving and centered, it may not follow the standard “kumbaya” vibe that I observe a lot of conscious folks often times portray. Life is not all meditation, reflection, observation and revelation. Not by a long shot. There are times in life where we must communicate clearly our boundaries and expectations regarding what we will and will not allow into our lives. This may translate into the way someone is speaking or behaving that directly affects us. True, we do not have control over anyone but ourselves and our reactions to external circumstance, we DO have control over communicating what we simply will and won’t accept regarding staying in our “sponge” (see my Squeeze Me post where I further discuss being a Sponge-Like Chick post)

We must be very mindful of what our sponge is exposed to and absorbs. Many times the actions of other people in our lives whom we must interact with on a daily or even weekly/monthly basis undoubtedly will test our resolve as to how much we protect the environment in which we dwell. Sometimes people do not honor their commitments and/or obligations which in turn has a direct effect on our lives. These circumstances are where the Therapeutic Check Mate comes into play. “Therapeutic Checking” is a term used by my late brother Michael, and it refers to effectively communicating how your personal boundaries may have been compromised in one regard or another. This is not to be confused with tearing someone a new one because we “don’t like” what they did. I’m talking about true, mindful and calm communication of what you will and will not tolerate into your space and the implications of such. Many times, the person on the receiving end of the “Therapeutic Checking” is in dire need of someone to be mindful of them as they may not be in a space where they are mindful of themselves. Withholding the “Therapeutic Checking” may actually result in continued or enhanced inappropriate behavior/speaking and does not serve ourselves nor the recipient well.

Again, I want to emphasize that in no way am I condoning or justifying “cursing people out” or “going off”. Those two things usually have a wild anger behind them and are really masking our Gift – Wrapped Bullshit. No, it’s not alright to recklessly abandon the feelings and responses of others, even when we perceive they may have done that very thing to us. It is alright, and often times needed though, to express in a mature fashion,  and with a solution driven approach that what they are currently engaging in will not be tolerated.

It’s called Therapeutic Checking because it truly is therapy. It allows for us to set boundaries while it provides the recipient with the opportunity for honest self – evaluation and quite possibly some growth. I personally have tons of experience Therapeutically Checking folks, and I can see the difference when I come from a space or love (for myself primarily in what I allow to permeate my life) and when I come from a place of anger/frustration/fear. It does take some practice to really differentiate the source as the recipient still may not be able to tell the difference, however we need to be very clear on our intention. Let me also add that therapeutic checking doesn’t always need to be an external expression verbally. Sometimes it can just mean refraining from interaction until the person(s) have made their own decision to respect your boundaries, and truth be told, some folks just need that “time out” to better reflect and evaluate what your presence in their lives means to them.

Therapeutic Checking is a natural, healthy and needed dynamic in anyone’s life. It can makes the difference between living a life filled with anxiety, guilt, misery and resentment versus a life that is open, healing and growing.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

A Stronger “Bat”

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I’ve been doing some major transforming in my life and it’s happened in the most amazing space. My mind. I realized that a lot of my mind chatter was preventing me from living and being the best version of myself that I could possibly be. Sometimes we tend to be so comfortable (not happy) with where our lives are that we neglect daring to dream something better. A lot of times, we are unaware of the way that our thoughts influence our direct beliefs, behaviors and responses to the curve balls that life throws our way. The key is that whatever the curve ball looks like, we have the best bat to knock that sucker out of the park and turn it into a home run. That bat, is our mind. Our mind is the tool behind most aspects of our lives. Our mind is the bat.

When you think of a bat, you think of a sturdy piece of wood, right? (ok maybe steel but you know what I mean!) The bat knows it’s purpose. The purpose is to hit that ball as hard and as fast as possible to turn the pitch into a celebratory event, right? The bat is not bothered or concerned with the color, mood, words, disposition or velocity of the ball. It has one purpose, to engage and strike. When we think of our minds and the way they revert to dramatic thoughts (oh my god, this is horrible! Oh no, this ALWAYS happens! Oh my gosh, they NEVER do the right thing!) This, is the beginning of perpetuating the drama that mainly exists in our head, this is not to say there is no real drama happening outside of our minds, but, we tend to create worst case scenarios before they even have a chance to unfold any other way. Guess what, when we vibrate on worse case scenario, it’s very likely that it will occur, or at the very least head in that direction.

I was going to tie it back in and say “be like the bat”, but yea, it sounds pretty corny once I see it in words. So, I will leave on this note. When we see a situation, person or drama heading our way, don’t run or avoid, don’t meet it head on with more drama, simply remain present and hit that sucker out of the park. Remember to observe your thoughts that surface and discard the ones that do not contribute to you coming to a solution as quickly as possible.

With so much love.

Simply Megan