I do not allow my children to discuss what someone else did “to them” or that “made them” respond in a certain way. I also, refrain from blaming or focusing on anyone but myself regarding situations that may have been a catalyst for undue stress or upset. Once we focus on another person aside from ourselves, we distance ourselves from a solution. It may feel really great at the outset, however it does nothing to alleviate the underlying issue that manifested the upset in the first place!
I won’t get all spiritual and “I attract everything I experience” on you. (Although it’s true, I swear it’s true yall!) But, I will say that I am of the firm belief that it takes two to tango. When we find ourselves in situations that leave us feeling hurt, resentful, angry, frustrated or sad, it is critical to examine our role in that situation. Sometimes it’s as simple as the fact that we didn’t respect ourselves enough NOT to be in that dynamic in the first place. Other times, it’s that we were actually being irresponsible and then suffered the inevitable consequences of that irresponsibility. And then, sometimes, we actually are being victimized and do NOT deserve the treatment, response or provocation that we’ve experienced. Either way, no matter what the scenario, we must look to our own responses to whatever upsetting situation faces us.
This requires honesty and self-awareness. A lot of times we cannot find our role or contribution. There are those cases when we are simply experiencing something to become stronger as a person and have more stamina to overcome adversity. That is also a role. Let’s look at the way in which the way we take responsibility for ourselves versus expecting someone else to be mindful of our well-being.
For me personally, I know that my expectations tend to be a source of unhappiness or discontent. Expecting things of people or situations that have already proven to be unstable isn’t wise. I love the quote “My Happiness Grows in Direct Proportion To My Acceptance and In Inverse Proportion to my Expectation” – Michael J Fox. Acceptance is one of those easier said than done things, but with practice and mindful observance, it is very possible. Once we accept people and situations for who they are and focus on what we can control (OURSELVES!) life becomes infinitely more amazing!
With so much love.