It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted here, but the wait has been worth it ( I promise). I am thrilled to say that my life has come together in a way that I would have never imagined last year. I definitely am no stranger to hardship or challenge, but 2016 revealed so much to me that I honestly was denying to my own self.
It’s a cold cold world out here folks. That’s the bottom line. People will hurt you. You will hurt you. Compassion and kindness don’t always equate to submission and/or compromise. Longevity doesn’t equal loyalty. When people are consistent in their actions (whatever they may be) you take them at face value.
Last year, I was struggling with many self-worth beliefs instilled from childhood experience and perception. There was a subconscious longing to be approved of, to be loved… and get this, it wasn’t enough for just anyone to approve and love me, it HAD to be unavailable/incapable people. Pretty silly right? Logically it makes no sense…but subconciously, it was my truth. It was my weak spot, Achilles heal. A place that I had made a home without even realizing it.
There were so many painful “aha” moments. Boundaries became my best friend. I FINALLY implemented the cliche modality us “conscious hotep folks” swear by. If it wasn’t good for me, didn’t motivate me towards progress, wasn’t dependable, went cold…I released it. I’m not talking temporarily “letting go” until it circled back around, I’m talking about chopping, slicing, dicing and mitigating relationships. Some young some old..and can I be honest? That shit HURT!!! It was scary to be “on my own”but even beyong that it was the fact that I hadn’t been kind to myself. I wasn’t making loving decisions towards myself. I was fearful of all this newfound free time I had with my own self. Who am I? This was the pressing question that continued to rear it’s head the more time I spent isolated from toxicity.
Since it’s 1:30 am right now I won’t elaborate too much (right now) but let me just state that I got to know Megan…and you know what else. She’s really DOPE!!! I’m not talking about the egotistical frame of being dope, I’m talking about the authentic way. I am vulnerable yet strong, carefree yet controlled, hard yet soft and throughout the journey I learned how to TRULY honor and love myself. Guess what else? Once I truly got the hang of it (cause it’s just like riding a bike you know), I became so much better at plainly spotting folks who DIDN’T honor and love me. It was/is quite the eye opening experience!
So, here I am in 2017, the last year of Saturn’s return ( I LOVE SATURN by the way!!!) and life is really coming together for me. This newfound love, awareness and mindfulness of myself has permeated out into every area of my life. I am experiencing so much alignment and consistency. The more I let go the more I receive. Crazy right? I’ve started my own business(s) full time and there’s no looking back. My life is being lived on purpose (yep, that’s an entendre) and I’m ecstatic!!! This is truly the year of yes.
Anywho, Bikram and that 105 degree room first thing in the morning will be here soon and I must rest my eyes. Thank you for reading and if you’re interested please check out my website for updates on what my Passion to Purpose looks like. Ciao!