Tag: pain

Sometimes we can get so caught up in to-do lists, workout routines, schedules and life events that it seems we never have any down time. A lot of times, it’s very true that our schedules and priorities do require us to be at full capacity for the majority of time some days. It sounds great that say that we need to “schedule some me time” for ourselves, but realistically that isn’t always feasible.

I’ve recently realized that it is extremely challenging to actually take “down time”. Even when I attempt to relax I find my mind racing and analyzing what should or could be getting done instead of actually remaining present and resting. One of the tools that can be utilized to combat this is to actually have gratitude for the place you are, right now this very second, not in an hour once you complete x,y,z. Not in a month when your body looks like this or that. But right now, looking at what we’ve accomplished and what we’ve overcome and how we’ve excelled and appreciating that, instead of beating ourselves up for what hasn’t occurred yet.

I implore you (and myself) to take actually focus on silencing your inner voice that attempts to keep you busy (versus productive) all the time. Let’s schedule in “me time” and “know when to fold” on our current routines. The world will not end. This, just like any change will take practice, diligence and consistency. Let’s be gentle with ourselves and fold when the time calls for it. We can focus and zero in on the things that genuinely need to be addressed when we allow ourselves to just simply be and presently fold into our magnificence, even if only for a moment.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

This initially started out as an open letter to Joani, the beautiful soul who encourages, support, loves and lifts me up any chance she gets, mostly virtually now a days on Facebook but also in tangible ways over the years. She made a comment on a recent post I put on Facebook regarding my weight release and transformational journey over the past year. She talked about the trials, tribulations, challenges, triumphs, changes and catalysts that have affected my life for the past several many years. She brought me to tears. She brought me to a deep place of humility and gratitude and I decided that instead of just responding to her, I’d respond to everyone. All those who have played a part in my life, whether you loved me, hurt me, supported me, abandoned me, guided me, mentored me, laughed with me, cried with me, given to me, taken from me, helped me, broke my heart, double-crossed me, it doesn’t matter, you helped me to become who I am, and for that, I am so appreciative. Ultimately any of the dynamics I/we’ve experienced are a matter of perception. And perception is so critical to how we respond and grow.

Although I’m not here to go into the intricate details of my life, I am here to be open and say that these past few years have not always been comfortable or easy. They have been filled experiences of loss and pain that brought me tremendous, suffering, pain and sorrow.

I lost my amazing, beautiful, charismatic, robust, giving, sacrificial, loving older brother whom I had the immense honor or meeting and knowing for the past 8 years of my life. He was 20 years my elder and served as a best friend, father-figure, older brother and kindred soul mate whose profound effect on me, my children’s and several others lives will NEVER be overlooked or not felt.

I loved a man and created two fantastic, beautiful, gifted, amazing and brilliant children with. Although our personal relationship romantic relationship was not long-lasting, we have/are worked(ing) on coming to a mutual respect and honor for each other and the role we will now play in each others lives for the rest of this lifetime. We still love and care for each other very much in the context of being spiritual beings brought together to create greatness. The profound love we share for our children supersedes any other dynamic.

My friendship with another one of my soul mates grew and became strong and fortified as she navigated both pregnancies with me and helped aid and assist me in the birth of my youngest daughter. Her love, support, encouragement, conversation, astrological studying, energy, healing words and fresh perspective have been pivotal in becoming the person I am today.

I found out that I was to be a grandmother and my Sun would be transitioning into fatherhood at the tender age of 17. I have learned to allow space for the growth and transition through adolescence, to hold space for the inevitable learning and natural universal consequence that comes with making choices for ourselves. I have come to grow in my admiration for his resilience and ability to persevere through loss and challenges.

My respect, honor and admiration for my daughter has grown as I see how she is navigating through her adolescence while she serves as a strong support of me and her younger siblings in helping me to care for them consistently, thoroughly and in such a nurturing fashion. Her grace, strength, patience and dynamic flexibility inspires me daily.

My heart has been cracked wide open to experience an influx of emotions from love/bliss to pain/loss. I have healed wounds that I was unaware existed. I have loved in spaces and places that I thought were scarred over. I have learned that slow-paced, methodical and consistent breathing, thinking and doing are key. I have been introduced to new love(s) that have impacted my life in ways that served to catapult me into becoming the best version of my own Self.

My friends both near and far are such a brilliant and beautiful reflection of the things I embody and as my circle has/is changing, I see ascension. I see love. I see happiness. I see growth.

I have looked into the people who surround me and seen the reflection of my flaws and my strengths. I have utilized the gift of perception and focused on gratitude versus victim-consciousness. I have found and admitted my passions to myself. I have met and mingled with many new friends and energies that have served to show me the potential to which I can reach. I have let go of things, people, things, thought patterns and dynamics which no longer serve my highest purpose. I have reflected on where I’ve been and am genuinely grateful for all of these experiences. I have left behind the painful emotion and focused on the positive result and new growth and insight I’ve gained as a woman. I have accepted that I am amazing, charismatic, hilarious, giving, generous, impulsive, determined, stubborn and sometimes argumentative. I have also accepted that these things do not define me, yet they allow me inspire, create and lift others up. I have been given new reasons to persevere (versus excuses on why I can’t so anything).  I have become aware that I change every single day, and that the difference between misery and bliss is one thing: perception. Gratitude is the root of all joy. Without these people and scenario’s I wouldn’t be where and who I am today, and I am sooo in love with who and where I am today. The support provided to me has been amazing. This is not just about me and my own strength, this is about the strength and resolve of the people in my circle who I’ve been exposed to, some in closer proximity than others. Thank you, I love you.

Thank you Joani. Thank you for being one of the several amazing souls in my life that supports and loves me through all of life’s changes. Thank you to everyone for the role you’ve played, are playing and will continue to play. I do not take for granted your contribution nor presence in my life, whatever that was, is or will be.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

Just the mere pairing of those two words and we tend to automatically jump towards thinking or romantic love. Of course, romantic love is included in this sentiment, however TRUE love covers a more colossal gamut. My attention and focus coming out of this most recent Venus Retrograde period (7/25/15 0 9/6/15) has been to search deeply into myself to become aware of the definition I attached to love, of all sorts.

Of course! I’ll give you the “cliffnotes” version and say that it definitely all comes back to a love we have for ourselves. But, I’d like to take you a bit further into my  journey which has allowed me to gain a much more long-lasting sense of contentment and a much more positive relationship with love in all its various forms and perspectives.

I am within the belief that we all have a divine love within ourselves that cannot be taken away, no heartbreak, drink, drug, experience, loss or fear, can EVER, take our divinity away from us. What can happen though, is that we can feel so lost, detached and hurt about what we’ve perceived as unfair, painful and traumatic happenings that we completely forget and lose sight of that bright shiny love that we all share at a very deep intrinsic level. A lot of times, we experience pain around “love” in a relationship with someone else of whom we’ve had expectations of and therefore associate pain and love as one in the same or even worse, the inevitable outcome.

This could be abandonment by a parent, infidelity of a spouse, “back-stabbing” by a friend, feeling under-appreciated by a family member or several other MILLION scenarios that basically stem from the same place, perceived abandonment regarding a particular expectation we had on someone other than ourselves. There’s that little word again… expectation. Oh expectation, how do you annoy me? Let me count the ways… Nah, I don’t have time to focus on that, but, it’s a lot!!!

I have found that truly getting in touch with myself and the wounds I have perceived surrounding love of all types and working to heal and release, has allowed me to broaden my view on what love really means. It’s boundless. It’s without expectation. It’s unconditional. It’s expansive. It’s marvelous. It’s everywhere.

I have a post it note on my desk that says “My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations” . This translates into allowing other people we are in relationships with the space to be authentically true to themselves. WHATEVER that means. It’s a difficult charge for most of us to love someone fully and robustly without expecting certain things in return. It requires honesty.  It requires that we let old ideas go about what someone needs to prove to us. It requires that we  let our egos go. It requires that we become strong in our vulnerability. It requires that we first heal ourselves. It requires that we first love ourselves.

True Love and the way it shows up in our relationship with others has a direct correlation on how we love ourselves. Are we good enough to us? Do we seek perfection knowing it’s impossible? Do we accept ourselves and all our flaws? Do we give to others before we give to ourselves in an unhealthy way? Do we give to ourselves before others selfishly? Let’s take an honest inventory of our own hearts and how we TRULY love or need to learn to love ourselves so that we can offer ourselves true love and in turn everyone to whom we come into contact. Let’s find balance, truth, honor, respect and introspect. Once we find those things and the divine nature in ourselves, it’s SO much easier to find it in others.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

Sooooo, hot yoga became a pretty consistent staple for me in my health routines about 5-6 years ago. Keeping in mind I use the word “consistent” very loosely. I practiced vigorously and then fell off and my cycles seem to wax and wane depending on my current life situations. I happened to have two beautiful little babies within the past 3 years so there are at least 20 months in there where hot yoga was a no-no due to my “with child” condition.

I find that any yoga, but especially hot yoga, is a microcosm of our entire lives, right there, in 90 minutes on the mat, dripping with sweat, “monkey mind” attempting to make us quit the whole time and telling us that there is no way in hell we’ll ever get through this. But you know what? I’ve always come out alive… every. single. time. Not only have I come out alive, but I’ve come out more aware of the power my mind has to control responses to uncomfortable sensations. Even more important than that, I’ve become aware of my breath.

We take breathing for granted in our day-to-day goings on’s… we breathe fast when we are anxious or exited, we hold our breath when we’re on edge, we even slow our breathing down when we are crying and attempt regain our composure. When you’re standing in a room that ranges between 95-105 degrees and being instructed to get into poses that stretch, compress and strengthen every single organ…well, let’s just say that it can be intense. I find that the actual physical movement isn’t as intense as the barrage of thoughts that come rushing to my mind. Anyone who knows me knows how deep I study and gain insight from astrology. I definitely believe that my moon in Gemini kicks into over drive and begins to berate me. She tells me things like “OMG, you are going to DIEEEE, do you hear me? Death is near!!!” and “Noooo, I cant believe this broad is asking me to do this! Is she freaking retarded, no way, no way in HELL am I going to be able to hold this pose for one more SECOND!!!”

Gaining an awareness on how I respond to a perceived “stressful” situation on my mat in hot yoga has allowed me to more honestly observe and become aware of how I respond to perceived stress in day to day life. Just like I’ve learned to talk myself down and calm my breath on the mat, I’ve applied this to my life. I bring my breath into awareness and it seems to help aid in whatever “crisis” I may find myself facing at that particular time.

I am so grateful and honored to live near an amazing studio in Raleigh, NC called Open Door Raleigh run by Monica Shannon. She is charismatic, informative, hilarious, compassionate and just a damn good hot yoga instructor! She is very authentic, which lightens the mood and makes jokes about whether we’d prefer the air to come out of our butts or to breathe it out through the moving meditation of yoga. (By the way, the answer is definitely our butt!! Easier and less time and focus)

This is one of the methods I use to ensure that I am balanced and detoxed. Although in this post I am solely focusing on the personal, emotion and mental side of hot yoga, there are physiological and physical benefits that are out of this world!!! My skin, blood pressure, strength and flexibility literally improve after just one session and when I’m truly as consistent as I’d like to be (3 times per week) man! I feel like i can take over the world! I have more energy, am in better moods and really have more overall focus and clarity in my mind. My intention is to integrate and prioritze this amazing self-loving act.

Hot Yoga Rocks!!

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan