Toxicity Is Relative

She’s baaaaaccckkk!!! I’ve decided to force myself to be committed and consistent to documenting more of my intellectual property it would be a fantastic idea to begin responding to questions on my very philosophical and lofty views on life in public written form for many to access and hopefully be impacted an a very transformative, evolutionary way.

My gift is in my communication. I can articulate and express things in a manner which is relatable and thought-provoking. Lots of my deep and profound revelationary moments come within conversation. The conversation I have been having lately a lot and I’ve noticed has been swirling around is toxicity. As in, you’re toxic and I don’t want toxicity in my life. I know that’s something that I personally have said plenty of times and used as a justification to alow myself to completely shut down. (FEAR)

Then, I had to be honest and really consider what is toxic and/or toxicity and this is what I came up with. Toxicity is relative. Toxic is something that is not vibrating on the same frequency within you currently wish to vibrate.

Please re-read that sentence, beacause there are tons of variables in the words.

What is toxic to you today may not have been toxic to you yesterday, dependent on all the variables involved. We are not static, we constantly change and evolve, day to day, minute to minute and second to second. So does everything else in this Universe. We want to hold onto this theory of permanence when there is no such thing. Just because you are toxic to me today, doesn’t mean you deserve the label of being a “toxic person”.

When you were vibrating with a specific person, place, scenario, dynamic, it was always healthy for you, until it wasn’t. And there is nothing wrong with being present enough to recognize when it isn’t anymore. There is nothing wrong with knowing your boundaries to keep the pH balance (frequency) of your life vibration exactly where you intend it to be at any given moment.

Example. An “enlightened” being goes into a space with hardcare drug users. The enlightened being attepts to try to begin “helping” by doing emotional work to assist the drug user to get to the root of what pain and trauma is being suppressed to illicit this continued coping mechanism. Said emotional work triggers the individual who was not in the space to handle such a large charge, begins to lash out and become angry, defensive and “toxic”. But, who was toxic “first”? Relative .

I hope this message finds someone well. Be willing to see when you’re choices are toxic also, and not always in the conventional way.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

Yoga – Master Teacher

​Step back, be still, breathe, notice, intend, focus, execute. What a nice little package of words that looks so simple and earnest in print. The truth is, it really IS simple, but easy?? Nah. Each of those words requires mindfulness of yourself, and  THAT is a completely different story. As with anything else practice makes better. (there is no such thing as perfection)

In any posture I do, I mindfully follow those steps to increase my chances of success. Can you tell I’m not just talking about yoga yet? Oh ok, well I’m not. I’m talking about life too. I’m talking about traffic jams, I’m talking about co-workers, I’m talking about the news, I’m talking the thoughts and words we choose, I’m talking about relationships , I’m talking about everything!

Approaching life with steps and strategies is crucial to evolution and progress. The one constant is change so we know we can expect that. The only thing we have control and governance over is our own self, so it makes sense to start there and begin to get involved with how I am responding to the changes.

With So Much Love,

 

Simply Megan

 

Knowing When To Fold

Sometimes we can get so caught up in to-do lists, workout routines, schedules and life events that it seems we never have any down time. A lot of times, it’s very true that our schedules and priorities do require us to be at full capacity for the majority of time some days. It sounds great that say that we need to “schedule some me time” for ourselves, but realistically that isn’t always feasible.

I’ve recently realized that it is extremely challenging to actually take “down time”. Even when I attempt to relax I find my mind racing and analyzing what should or could be getting done instead of actually remaining present and resting. One of the tools that can be utilized to combat this is to actually have gratitude for the place you are, right now this very second, not in an hour once you complete x,y,z. Not in a month when your body looks like this or that. But right now, looking at what we’ve accomplished and what we’ve overcome and how we’ve excelled and appreciating that, instead of beating ourselves up for what hasn’t occurred yet.

I implore you (and myself) to take actually focus on silencing your inner voice that attempts to keep you busy (versus productive) all the time. Let’s schedule in “me time” and “know when to fold” on our current routines. The world will not end. This, just like any change will take practice, diligence and consistency. Let’s be gentle with ourselves and fold when the time calls for it. We can focus and zero in on the things that genuinely need to be addressed when we allow ourselves to just simply be and presently fold into our magnificence, even if only for a moment.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

Open Letter To Everyone

This initially started out as an open letter to Joani, the beautiful soul who encourages, support, loves and lifts me up any chance she gets, mostly virtually now a days on Facebook but also in tangible ways over the years. She made a comment on a recent post I put on Facebook regarding my weight release and transformational journey over the past year. She talked about the trials, tribulations, challenges, triumphs, changes and catalysts that have affected my life for the past several many years. She brought me to tears. She brought me to a deep place of humility and gratitude and I decided that instead of just responding to her, I’d respond to everyone. All those who have played a part in my life, whether you loved me, hurt me, supported me, abandoned me, guided me, mentored me, laughed with me, cried with me, given to me, taken from me, helped me, broke my heart, double-crossed me, it doesn’t matter, you helped me to become who I am, and for that, I am so appreciative. Ultimately any of the dynamics I/we’ve experienced are a matter of perception. And perception is so critical to how we respond and grow.

Although I’m not here to go into the intricate details of my life, I am here to be open and say that these past few years have not always been comfortable or easy. They have been filled experiences of loss and pain that brought me tremendous, suffering, pain and sorrow.

I lost my amazing, beautiful, charismatic, robust, giving, sacrificial, loving older brother whom I had the immense honor or meeting and knowing for the past 8 years of my life. He was 20 years my elder and served as a best friend, father-figure, older brother and kindred soul mate whose profound effect on me, my children’s and several others lives will NEVER be overlooked or not felt.

I loved a man and created two fantastic, beautiful, gifted, amazing and brilliant children with. Although our personal relationship romantic relationship was not long-lasting, we have/are worked(ing) on coming to a mutual respect and honor for each other and the role we will now play in each others lives for the rest of this lifetime. We still love and care for each other very much in the context of being spiritual beings brought together to create greatness. The profound love we share for our children supersedes any other dynamic.

My friendship with another one of my soul mates grew and became strong and fortified as she navigated both pregnancies with me and helped aid and assist me in the birth of my youngest daughter. Her love, support, encouragement, conversation, astrological studying, energy, healing words and fresh perspective have been pivotal in becoming the person I am today.

I found out that I was to be a grandmother and my Sun would be transitioning into fatherhood at the tender age of 17. I have learned to allow space for the growth and transition through adolescence, to hold space for the inevitable learning and natural universal consequence that comes with making choices for ourselves. I have come to grow in my admiration for his resilience and ability to persevere through loss and challenges.

My respect, honor and admiration for my daughter has grown as I see how she is navigating through her adolescence while she serves as a strong support of me and her younger siblings in helping me to care for them consistently, thoroughly and in such a nurturing fashion. Her grace, strength, patience and dynamic flexibility inspires me daily.

My heart has been cracked wide open to experience an influx of emotions from love/bliss to pain/loss. I have healed wounds that I was unaware existed. I have loved in spaces and places that I thought were scarred over. I have learned that slow-paced, methodical and consistent breathing, thinking and doing are key. I have been introduced to new love(s) that have impacted my life in ways that served to catapult me into becoming the best version of my own Self.

My friends both near and far are such a brilliant and beautiful reflection of the things I embody and as my circle has/is changing, I see ascension. I see love. I see happiness. I see growth.

I have looked into the people who surround me and seen the reflection of my flaws and my strengths. I have utilized the gift of perception and focused on gratitude versus victim-consciousness. I have found and admitted my passions to myself. I have met and mingled with many new friends and energies that have served to show me the potential to which I can reach. I have let go of things, people, things, thought patterns and dynamics which no longer serve my highest purpose. I have reflected on where I’ve been and am genuinely grateful for all of these experiences. I have left behind the painful emotion and focused on the positive result and new growth and insight I’ve gained as a woman. I have accepted that I am amazing, charismatic, hilarious, giving, generous, impulsive, determined, stubborn and sometimes argumentative. I have also accepted that these things do not define me, yet they allow me inspire, create and lift others up. I have been given new reasons to persevere (versus excuses on why I can’t so anything).  I have become aware that I change every single day, and that the difference between misery and bliss is one thing: perception. Gratitude is the root of all joy. Without these people and scenario’s I wouldn’t be where and who I am today, and I am sooo in love with who and where I am today. The support provided to me has been amazing. This is not just about me and my own strength, this is about the strength and resolve of the people in my circle who I’ve been exposed to, some in closer proximity than others. Thank you, I love you.

Thank you Joani. Thank you for being one of the several amazing souls in my life that supports and loves me through all of life’s changes. Thank you to everyone for the role you’ve played, are playing and will continue to play. I do not take for granted your contribution nor presence in my life, whatever that was, is or will be.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

True Love

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Just the mere pairing of those two words and we tend to automatically jump towards thinking or romantic love. Of course, romantic love is included in this sentiment, however TRUE love covers a more colossal gamut. My attention and focus coming out of this most recent Venus Retrograde period (7/25/15 0 9/6/15) has been to search deeply into myself to become aware of the definition I attached to love, of all sorts.

Of course! I’ll give you the “cliffnotes” version and say that it definitely all comes back to a love we have for ourselves. But, I’d like to take you a bit further into my  journey which has allowed me to gain a much more long-lasting sense of contentment and a much more positive relationship with love in all its various forms and perspectives.

I am within the belief that we all have a divine love within ourselves that cannot be taken away, no heartbreak, drink, drug, experience, loss or fear, can EVER, take our divinity away from us. What can happen though, is that we can feel so lost, detached and hurt about what we’ve perceived as unfair, painful and traumatic happenings that we completely forget and lose sight of that bright shiny love that we all share at a very deep intrinsic level. A lot of times, we experience pain around “love” in a relationship with someone else of whom we’ve had expectations of and therefore associate pain and love as one in the same or even worse, the inevitable outcome.

This could be abandonment by a parent, infidelity of a spouse, “back-stabbing” by a friend, feeling under-appreciated by a family member or several other MILLION scenarios that basically stem from the same place, perceived abandonment regarding a particular expectation we had on someone other than ourselves. There’s that little word again… expectation. Oh expectation, how do you annoy me? Let me count the ways… Nah, I don’t have time to focus on that, but, it’s a lot!!!

I have found that truly getting in touch with myself and the wounds I have perceived surrounding love of all types and working to heal and release, has allowed me to broaden my view on what love really means. It’s boundless. It’s without expectation. It’s unconditional. It’s expansive. It’s marvelous. It’s everywhere.

I have a post it note on my desk that says “My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance and in inverse proportion to my expectations” . This translates into allowing other people we are in relationships with the space to be authentically true to themselves. WHATEVER that means. It’s a difficult charge for most of us to love someone fully and robustly without expecting certain things in return. It requires honesty.  It requires that we let old ideas go about what someone needs to prove to us. It requires that we  let our egos go. It requires that we become strong in our vulnerability. It requires that we first heal ourselves. It requires that we first love ourselves.

True Love and the way it shows up in our relationship with others has a direct correlation on how we love ourselves. Are we good enough to us? Do we seek perfection knowing it’s impossible? Do we accept ourselves and all our flaws? Do we give to others before we give to ourselves in an unhealthy way? Do we give to ourselves before others selfishly? Let’s take an honest inventory of our own hearts and how we TRULY love or need to learn to love ourselves so that we can offer ourselves true love and in turn everyone to whom we come into contact. Let’s find balance, truth, honor, respect and introspect. Once we find those things and the divine nature in ourselves, it’s SO much easier to find it in others.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

Hot Yoga and My Life

Sooooo, hot yoga became a pretty consistent staple for me in my health routines about 5-6 years ago. Keeping in mind I use the word “consistent” very loosely. I practiced vigorously and then fell off and my cycles seem to wax and wane depending on my current life situations. I happened to have two beautiful little babies within the past 3 years so there are at least 20 months in there where hot yoga was a no-no due to my “with child” condition.

I find that any yoga, but especially hot yoga, is a microcosm of our entire lives, right there, in 90 minutes on the mat, dripping with sweat, “monkey mind” attempting to make us quit the whole time and telling us that there is no way in hell we’ll ever get through this. But you know what? I’ve always come out alive… every. single. time. Not only have I come out alive, but I’ve come out more aware of the power my mind has to control responses to uncomfortable sensations. Even more important than that, I’ve become aware of my breath.

We take breathing for granted in our day-to-day goings on’s… we breathe fast when we are anxious or exited, we hold our breath when we’re on edge, we even slow our breathing down when we are crying and attempt regain our composure. When you’re standing in a room that ranges between 95-105 degrees and being instructed to get into poses that stretch, compress and strengthen every single organ…well, let’s just say that it can be intense. I find that the actual physical movement isn’t as intense as the barrage of thoughts that come rushing to my mind. Anyone who knows me knows how deep I study and gain insight from astrology. I definitely believe that my moon in Gemini kicks into over drive and begins to berate me. She tells me things like “OMG, you are going to DIEEEE, do you hear me? Death is near!!!” and “Noooo, I cant believe this broad is asking me to do this! Is she freaking retarded, no way, no way in HELL am I going to be able to hold this pose for one more SECOND!!!”

Gaining an awareness on how I respond to a perceived “stressful” situation on my mat in hot yoga has allowed me to more honestly observe and become aware of how I respond to perceived stress in day to day life. Just like I’ve learned to talk myself down and calm my breath on the mat, I’ve applied this to my life. I bring my breath into awareness and it seems to help aid in whatever “crisis” I may find myself facing at that particular time.

I am so grateful and honored to live near an amazing studio in Raleigh, NC called Open Door Raleigh run by Monica Shannon. She is charismatic, informative, hilarious, compassionate and just a damn good hot yoga instructor! She is very authentic, which lightens the mood and makes jokes about whether we’d prefer the air to come out of our butts or to breathe it out through the moving meditation of yoga. (By the way, the answer is definitely our butt!! Easier and less time and focus)

This is one of the methods I use to ensure that I am balanced and detoxed. Although in this post I am solely focusing on the personal, emotion and mental side of hot yoga, there are physiological and physical benefits that are out of this world!!! My skin, blood pressure, strength and flexibility literally improve after just one session and when I’m truly as consistent as I’d like to be (3 times per week) man! I feel like i can take over the world! I have more energy, am in better moods and really have more overall focus and clarity in my mind. My intention is to integrate and prioritze this amazing self-loving act.

Hot Yoga Rocks!!

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

You Come First

Life is busy. We have several responsibilities, obligations and tasks that need to be completed on a daily basis to ensure that our lives run smoothly. My day is action packed from morning until night. With two babies that are 2 and 1, I am going (seemingly non-stop) from the time I wake up (or am woken up) until the time I start winding down for the evening to rest. Most everyone, whether you have children or not, has other people depending on them. Whether it’s your family, friends, or colleagues, we all affect the lives of other people immensely based on how we show up in our own lives. There is a direct correlation to the quality and dependability which we can offer others and the time we take to nurture and care for ourselves.

Like the old cliché adage says “You can’t give to someone else what you don’t have to give”. I love metaphors and I would take this a step further to illustrate with these examples: How can a poor person advise you on how to get rich? How can an unorganized person help you organize? How can an unfit person help you get fit? Seeing a trend here? Those make perfect sense and I doubt could be argued, however we tend to not apply the same principle to the unseen intangible things. These range from peace, love, honor, satisfaction, reliability, commitment, consistency, contentment and so much more. These are internal factors that we need to maintain and work to achieve so that we can offer them to the folks who need us the most.

We tend to have the perception that we must put everyone else’s needs and priorities above our own, which is true when we are dealing with babies or children who are not self-sufficient. However, even then, we must take the time to make sure we are healthy, both inside and out to ensure we can offer presence that has quality, not just quantity. If I’m with my babies, but I’m on my phone not interacting with them, or engaged in other things besides them, what am I really offering them? If I’m tired and cranky and emotionally unbalanced, what does my interaction look like with my family, friends or colleagues? Am I showing up at 100% or am I just there filling space? Let’s progress to not just show up, but to show up with authentic, genuine, quality of presence that offers those that are exposed to us the best possible result.

I have implemented several ways in which I take time out of my schedule to honor and love myself so that I can stay at my best capacity in an effort to show up for the people who depend on and matter most to me. Exercising, meditating, eating healthy, making financial decisions that prioritize what’s really important in my life and getting adequate time to relax are among my top tools. Let’s all find what helps us be the best version of ourselves so that we can positively impact all whom we come into contact with.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

STFU

stfu

Or “Saint Foo” as I affectionately refer to this euphemism. It’s necessary, healthy and absolutely downright critical if we are to maintain our inner peace and joy. I can’t count how many conversations I overhear in passing during my daily routines that are centered around someone else. What they did, said, are going to do etc. Perhaps as we think over our conversation’s with our lovers, best friends, co-workers, family or even our children we may find that a big portion of our topics revolve around other people.

We’re discussing their relationships, their parenting skills, their choices, their life..just THEM in general. I have found that this creates unnecessary drama and distraction away from the very things that should be our MAIN priority. Ourselves and our life. Period! A lot of times we talk to entertain ourselves and others with the content. Talking is a sacred tool that should be honored and respected (after all, everyone is not blessed with this gift). It should be used as a true form of communication and by communication I mean effective expression of solving issues and/or filtering love through the universe.

I am a proponent of the theory that love and fear are the only two real base emotions. When we find or feel the need to negatively speak about others and sometimes even our own selves, I believe it’s rooted in an insecurity/fear. I believe we can always be striving to improve our own personal situations and keeping that in mind, how do we really have any time to do anything else? While you’re discussing someone else’s business, you could be improving your own. I have observed that people who tend to constantly focus on other people’s shortcomings are typically extremely unhappy and unfulfilled in their own lives.

We all need a vent session every once in a while, however “how you do something.. is how you do everything” – (T Harv Ekar). If it’s once in a while, it’s a fluke, if it’s constant, it’s who you are. Don’t be that person. Don’t be hypocritical and salty. It’s really not a good look. Keeping in mind that we are all sponges , let’s wring that nasty stuff out and start fresh.

With So Much Love,

Simply Megan

Squeeze Me! (Sponge- Like Chick Part Duex)

Soooo, just like we have to be aware and mindful of what we are absorbing, we also need to be aware of what’s already siting in the crevices of our lives that is no longer serving us. Sometimes, sponges need to be wrung out and purged of dirty, stale, old water. The initial thought that pops into my mind is: relationship. I want to clarify that when I mention relationship in this article I am referring to ANY type. Familiar, friend, associate, romantic, long distance, previous, current, whatever!

Personal experience has shown me that sometimes the most lengthy connections..you know the ones that provide “security, nostalgia and familiarity” are the very ones that need to be squeezed out of our lives to make room for new fresh, healthy and more supportive ways of being. Often times, we remain connected to toxic, unhealthy or “safe” dynamics out of a sense of obligated loyalty. “This person was there for me  when…x,y,z”. I am in no way discounting having the awareness to salvage or not totally cut off relationships that are at their core, worth maintaining. Certain relationships have no choice but to be maintained at some level, either because the person is literally related to you, or you share a child/children. This however, doesn’t meant the level of engagement needs to remain high. Squeezing ourselves and finding new spaces in our crevices is essential to growth and progress. This doesn’t mean that the sponge is completely absolved of its previous relationship, just that it has begun the initial release and over time, the connection will serve as a distant memory that assisted to achieve its current state. The standard of measure I like to use is one of reciprocity and emotional intelligence. These two questions can be asked. “Does my current relationship with this person(s) fill me with a sense of joy, purpose and well-being?” and “Do we share a reciprocal exchange of energy or am I being drained consistently during our interactions?” This requires a certain level of honesty with our own self and a self-awareness of how we operate in regards to another person.

Sometimes the crevices are filled not with relationship, but with habits, thoughts or behaviors. I quit smoking cigarettes almost 4 years ago and I used the same measure referenced above. The answer was “No! This does not bring me joy, purpose or help my overall well-being” The other answer was “No, we do not share a reciprocal exchange, cigarettes drain the crap out of me!!” There was a time where I felt that the answers may have been different to those questions, but as we grow and mature, the answers often change, and must be re-evaluated. Just like a sponge, we need it to be filled with soap while we scrub plates and forks, but once that purpose has been served, we want to rinse and squeeze that sponge out and fill it with fresh water so the old dirty soap can be released. I challenge you to squeeze yourself today. First take a look at your relationships, habits, behaviors, thoughts and activities and then measure them up to the questions. Be compassionate and caring with yourself. Sometimes we know that something isn’t healthy for us and we just aren’t ready to squeeze it out, and that’s alright. Understand that knowing is half the battle and as you seek transformation, turning “knowing” into “doing” is critical if we want an overall different result.

With so much love.

Simply Megan

A Stronger “Bat”

I’ve been doing some major transforming in my life and it’s happened in the most amazing space. My mind. I realized that a lot of my mind chatter was preventing me from living and being the best version of myself that I could possibly be. Sometimes we tend to be so comfortable (not happy) with where our lives are that we neglect daring to dream something better. A lot of times, we are unaware of the way that our thoughts influence our direct beliefs, behaviors and responses to the curve balls that life throws our way. The key is that whatever the curve ball looks like, we have the best bat to knock that sucker out of the park and turn it into a home run. That bat, is our mind. Our mind is the tool behind most aspects of our lives. Our mind is the bat.

When you think of a bat, you think of a sturdy piece of wood, right? (ok maybe steel but you know what I mean!) The bat knows it’s purpose. The purpose is to hit that ball as hard and as fast as possible to turn the pitch into a celebratory event, right? The bat is not bothered or concerned with the color, mood, words, disposition or velocity of the ball. It has one purpose, to engage and strike. When we think of our minds and the way they revert to dramatic thoughts (oh my god, this is horrible! Oh no, this ALWAYS happens! Oh my gosh, they NEVER do the right thing!) This, is the beginning of perpetuating the drama that mainly exists in our head, this is not to say there is no real drama happening outside of our minds, but, we tend to create worst case scenarios before they even have a chance to unfold any other way. Guess what, when we vibrate on worse case scenario, it’s very likely that it will occur, or at the very least head in that direction.

I was going to tie it back in and say “be like the bat”, but yea, it sounds pretty corny once I see it in words. So, I will leave on this note. When we see a situation, person or drama heading our way, don’t run or avoid, don’t meet it head on with more drama, simply remain present and hit that sucker out of the park. Remember to observe your thoughts that surface and discard the ones that do not contribute to you coming to a solution as quickly as possible.

With so much love.

Simply Megan